Confidence - The Truth
Confidence. The dictionary definition defines it as...
"The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust."
"The state of feeling certain about the truth of something."
"A feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities."
I'm sure you know the feeling. The "I got this" feeling. Some call it edge, some call it swagger, some call it confidence. It's a good feeling. When a situation rises, whatever that may be, and you know you can handle it, that's true confidence. When you are sure of yourself, it's the best mental boost possible.
On the flip side, I'm sure you know the opposite feeling as well. The "OH SH!T" I have no idea what I'm suppose to do right now feeling. This feeling straight up sucks. It is the worst and will forever be one of the hardest blows to an individuals mind/attitude/ego. The truth is that humans like control. Control at all times. Control of their own thoughts, control of the situation, and control of their surroundings. This adds a layer of comfort to the situation in that moment. That "OH SH!T" feeling is lack of control of the situation.
So by now, you are probably wondering where this post is going or what it has to do with fitness, or anything for that matter. I have heard people countless times over that they simply do not feel confident in the gym. I have always understood what they meant by that, but it only fully clicked for me as I am currently writing this.
People have confidence totally backwards.
People think that confidence is a mindset. Something that you can pick and choose to have at any given time. For many years, I thought the same thing. Despite many people believing this, I'm going to argue the topic and say that it is totally wrong.
Confidence comes from repetitive behavior. Consistent behavior builds pattern, and pattern with a specific behavior forms true confidence. When you know the outcome of an event, it is dictated because you have already "been there done that." Think of any situation that you have been totally fine and under control when most would have struggled or panicked. Chances are, you were confident in the situation because you already knew the outcome because you have been in that spot before.
People are sold a lie. With all the motivational and self help content floating around the web, people start to believe that there is something wrong with themselves when they lack confidence. Whether the topic is fitness, business, dating, cooking, public speaking, you name it, people think it is their fault they lack courage.
You are not suppose to be confident automatically. Confidence comes with consistency. The day in and day out repetitive grind and work that goes in to mastering a craft. If you lack confidence in the gym, it's because you haven't been there enough, if you lack confidence talking to the opposite sex, it's because you haven't done it enough, and if you lack confidence in the work environment, it's because you haven't experienced that surrounding enough.
Confidence with anything in life takes TIME. So much time. There is no mental switch that you can flip on and act a show. It won't be real and it won't feel genuine. The lines are blurry the whole way through whatever journey you are on.
The backbone of self-improvement is going to be consistency and dedication. It is not until we have held ourselves to the repetitive acts of that task time and time again before true confidence was developed.
When I walk into the gym and I have the confidence of deadlifting 500 LBS, it is not because I'm telling myself that I'm stronger than I really am. It's because chances are, I deadlifted 495 LBS the week prior.
If you struggle with body image in the gym, I would bet that you struggle feeling comfortable mentally in other situations as well. The only way to escape that is through massive action. Doing more, not less, and most importantly doing more when you don't want to do any.
Confidence comes with experience. If you are not experiencing new things, and repeatedly putting yourself in areas where you know you need the most growth, it will be impossible to really ever get there.
Strength>Safety. Take it how you wish.
This is MY life video link below. Enjoy.